A Kitchen Story

(Note: This story was going to be published last week. However, due to my brother needing me in Dallas for reasons you can probably find on his Blog, it was delayed)

Last week I was contemplating dinner. Instead of the usual short drive to subway or jimmy johns for fast food, I decided to cook myself up a little something nice. Being the stereotypical late 20’s bachelor my dinner choices are greatly limited to the lack of supplies that typically found in such a kitchen. My infrequent grocery store visits mostly result in the purchasing of three items: yogurt, TV dinners, and bottled water.

However on this evening I was determined to make something of nothing. After extensively going through my freezer, fridge, and pantry, which wasted 45 whole seconds of my life, I had a chicken breast, one egg and a bag of rice, none of which were probably from 2011.

I break open my new/vintage 1982(year of my birth) Southern Living cookbook that Mom gave me for Christmas, and started charting a course. My very, very short course.

Now I’m no Emril Lagasse, but I like to think that I can work my way around a kitchen. I have had a decent amount of practice in my years, and the chicken and Rice, with a hard-boiled egg and a few choice spices recipe I found seamed very simple and should not be a problem.

My friends often remind me that I can get a bit OCD at times, so I immediately began calculating exactly how long everything would need to take to cook to ensure that all items hit the plate at the same time for a nice evenly warm meal.

The rice went on first because it took 15 minutes. Next it was time to brown the chicken and prepare a Chicken bullion cube for extra flavor with several extra spicy ingredients to get it nice and warm.

Now I had originally planned to boil my loan egg, but at some point I realized that my rice was cooking in my egg boiling pot. No problem, I would just use the short cut. I would just put the egg in a bowl and nuke it in the microwave for one minute.

Next I ran into a few problems. My rice started boiling over because I had the temperature too hot., and my phone rang. As soon as I got both of these things taken care of all taken care of I took off toward my IPod deck to change the song that was not on my cooking playlist when…

KAAAABOOOOOOMMMM!

Its sounded less like a 12-gauge shotgun and more like a Civil War cannon.

Apparently my dear little egg was not removed from its shell, and the blast actually blew the microwave door completely open.

Momentarily there was a dark fog, and when the smoke cleared (literally) there were remnants of egg from ground to ceiling of my kitchen. The smell was… well it was a blown up egg, use your imagination.

My wonderfully planned out Chicken, Rice, and Egg meal had just been reduced in total ingredients by 1/3.

Almost a full day later my right ear was still ringing from the blast, and it occurred to me that microwave hasn’t been cleaned in months, maybe years. I know that the Good Lord speaks to us in different ways. I just pray that the next time, for the sake of my eardrums and blood pressure, he uses his inside voice…

New Deck

Hola Friends, I'm checking in to show off the new addition to my back yard!

Thursday Thoughts

Hello friends, Thursday thoughts are back up and running. I want to apologize for not writing in awhile, but I do have a very good excuse.

The reason for my slacking is that I am what my family likes to call a “bear.” I tend to hibernate during the winter. Let me be very clear. I do not like the cold, the short days, the lacking of wonderful sunshine, the ability to wear shorts and flip flops, no boating, no bikinis, no golf, and no good fishing, and no walking out to the back porch in my witey tittys to take a leak!

Usually the winters here do get cold, but this was one of the worst I can ever imagine. It was colder than a coal miners… I am pretty sure it has snowed here every day since September. However I will not bore you with the past.

The time has sprung forward, the sun has been shining, and I am excited for a fantastic Spring and Summer ahead! I got to dust off the golf clubs yesterday and took myself to the ole course for a little tune up before the season, and all I can say is WOW. Typically I get to play or practice “the greatest game God ever invented” at least 3 times a month during the winter, but its literally been November since I’ve picked up a club. I went to our local driving range and had a 13 year old girl feeling sorry for me. This was just after I shanked my first 5 shots in row ( I was a collegiate golfer damnit!). I told her that I hurt my back, a total lie. To tell you the truth, the rest of that bucket went about the same, but I didn’t give two dark chunks in a tuna can about it. It was 70 degrees, slight breeze, and not a cloud in the sky. I can’t even imagine what Heaven is going to be like, but I sure hope it is something like that day.

Spring also brings on another thing that takes up a ton of my time, Weddings. I love and love to hate weddings. I’ve got 4 so far this year in the line up. It really is great to see all the people you haven’t seen in ages, catch up, dress up, and for the quiet, weird uncle, drink up. It never fails, every wedding reception containing the ingredient that makes everyone halfway want to be there is alcohol. And there is always some crazy dude on the dance floor, showing off his 1975 disco moves, killing himself for shaving his mullet in 85,’ being the life of the party. I also love the best man and best bride (whatever you call it) speeches. The best man’s speech alsways contains some information probably not suitable for kids of all ages, and the woman’s speech is always way too long. Seriously darlin, if you’re crying for the happiness of the couple its one thing, but nobody cares that you made up dance rountines on weekends or had matching color bands on your braces in middle school. Once again I do love attending wedding and some that I am not invited to.

Being a single man and all, I have to look good for the ladies so I’ve started my usual Summer diet, which is not near as fun as my November/pre-hibernation (fatten up for the winter) diet. So I am now paying lots of money to the Bo Pilgrim family, consuming massive amounts of chicken, eggs, veggies, blah blah blah….

Hey, did I mention that it was 70, with the sun shining yesterday?

Well I’m headed out of Lubbock to Texarkanna for a wedding (hopefully I can get a good picture of a mullet sporting uncle), and then off to our nations capital, Washington D.C for some good vacation time with Momma D, Chadly, Jeana (Jenna), and the best Aunt in the whole world, Aunt Di. I’m sure we’ll have some good pics and stories from this adventure.

Adios and Cheers!

Hunting Season Winding Down

This past weekend forecast was calling for rain, sleet, nasty cold weather. This meant that there was only one thing to do, go hunting. My buddy Moon’s girlfriend was taking a trip with her friends to New Mexico, so we loaded up Kaiya and lots of guns and headed to his deer lease in Benjamin, TX.

Deer season has closed, so we were on the prowl for wild hogs, coyotes, and bobcats. The weather was exactly as predicted, cold and nasty which is typically great for these types of hunts. The first afternoon, we saw several deer but nothing we could shoot so we picked up the memory cards from the trail cameras and took them back to the lodge to see what kind of game has been in the area.

Upon reviewing the pictures, we quickly noticed that there were tons of hogs in the area, as well as a bobcat. This was very exciting because while hogs are very common, bobcats are usually very hard to come by. The next day we took off back to the blinds and on the way we spotted a bobcat just off the road on the lease. We knew that there was almost zero chance of stalking this thing on foot or in the truck but we decided to try anyway. We went about 150 yards into the lease and spotted him on my side sitting off in the brush. I quickly racked a shell in Moon’s AR15 and took aim. I could barely see him through the brush and could only see his head. These animals are very cautious, and he was not going to stick around for long, so I immediately took the shot. The bullet went right through his noggin and he was done for. This was the first Bobcat I had ever taking, so I was extremely excited.

We saw no other game for the rest of the hunt, but considered it a great success. Winter hunting season is about over, and it was a good one. While I do love to hunt more than almost anything I can not wait for warmer weather and to do activities that do not require 3 layers of clothing. Spring is right around the corner, and I can hear the fishing lakes and the golf courses calling.

Here are some pics from the Winter hunting season:

Bucket List Item Number One

Everyone has certain things they want to do or accomplish before they die; I now have my first one checked off.

Last week, four buddies (Sam, Michael, Moon, Zach) and I took the 10 hour trip from Houston to Buenos Aires. After a few “Cultural” days we took another flight over to the Province of Cordoba. After two hour bumpy dirt road ride that would make a Texas dirt road look like a brand new Interstate, we finally arrived to the Paco Riestra la Macrena Hunting lodge. The lodge was an older but newly updated 5 bedroom house complete with 4 bathrooms/showers, eating areas inside and out, huge lounging/napping couches, swimming pool, satellite TV, Cuban cigars, 3 maid servants, and a fully stocked bar that had an unlimited supply of our favorite beverages (believe me, we tried).

Unlike the United States, dove in Argentina are considered pests. There are millions upon millions and destroy over 30% of the country’s crops. The Argentines welcome everyone and anyone willing to shoot as many doves as your shoulder could stand.

We took the fields, which resembled nothing unlike a hunting field here in Texas. They were large vast areas separated by tree lines that we posted up in and used for shade. We hunted twice a day; mornings from 9 to 11:30 and in the afternoons from 3 to 6. We each had a “bird boy” who were men from the ages of 25 to 60 who would stand right next us (all day if we desired) and served three purposes: keep our Beretta Semi-automatic 20 gauge shotguns loaded with 4 shells, keep our bird count with a small clicker, and keep us “hydrated” with the famous Argentine cervesa Quilmes Beer. These guys knew very little English, but were not hesitant to teach us any Spanish that we needed to know.

On our first hunt, after I had run through my first two hundred shells, my shoulder was starting to get sore, and after taking a look at my clicker I realized that I had just killed 87 doves. We had been hunting for 24 minutes.

The next three days were no different, thousands of dove flying from all direction and we sent off hundreds of pounds of lead off into the blue sky. There would be times when I would just stand in awe at the waves and waves that would come over the top, from side to side, and come right in front at the same time.

One afternoon I even skipped a hunt to let my shoulder rest. I took a magazine to the pool and spent the afternoon taking in the Argentine sun, it was 85 degrees with a slight breeze (43 degrees in Lubbock that day). I got made fun of relentlessly by my buddies and the help, but I cared not.

It was great to take in the majestic scene in front of us, millions of Dove crossing the large soybean fields. Strangly we learned early on that it was just as fun to watch each other, including the bird boys, shoot at the birds. Everyone was very quick to laugh and trash talk at a missed target, but also quick with a compliment for a downed bird. We also enjoyed watching our bird boys shoot. These guys worked their tails off for us and we had no problem letting them partake in the fun. Later we learned that of the 12 years they had been in business, no group had let them hunt as much as we did.

All in all, this was truly a trip of a life time and we seriously had the time of our lives. It was unlike anything that I could even begin to describe and it was great to share it with great friends. The shoulder and 10 hour plane ride pain will soon pass, but the memories can never. I know that I am extremely fortunate to have the opportunity and would recommend it to anyone who loves wing shooting.

Lastly, this experience gave me a great perspective of a different part of our world where people live in unimaginable poverty. I know its very cliché to say, but there are so many things that we have and have access to that we take for granted every day. I know for a fact that I got far more from this trip more than a just a fantastic time and a great dove hunt.

Addition!! I have been asked several times so I want to add that in our three days the five of us killed just over 7,500 birds.

Lately

A Catch Up

Apparently its two weeks from Christmas, and I am wondering where the past couple of months have gone. Here’s what I’ve been up to lately (and not so lately).

The first of November we went to the NASCAR races in Ft. Worth, which were absolutely awesome. We stayed out in the camping grounds and had wonderful food and got to catch up with the family. I rode 5 laps in a NASCAR going upwards to 170 mph, which was by far the coolest part of the weekend! Whooaaa

The next weekend I took on a home project that I thought would be pretty simple. I had some bathtub tile that were missing and needed replacing badly. I wish I would have had the whole process on video because it had to of been hilarious watching me take on this task. I easily turned an 8 hour job into 3 full days worth of work, but it was fun and the bathtub now looks pretty dang good.

Then Thanksgiving came around and my dog Kaiya and I took a road trip back to Gunter for a “fun” filled weekend of eating, putting lights on Mom’s house, putting up yard ornaments, playing slot machines with Mom and Ricky, eating some more, and of course watching Kaiya do her favorite thing in the world, roll around in cow crap. It was a great Thanksgiving and I even got to sneak out to my favorite place on the planet, Dino’s Deer lease in Sunset, TX, for some much needed time with Dino, his Dad, a deer stand, and my rifle. I saw over 30 deer, but didn’t see the right buck so I didn’t even fire a shot. It was a great end to a great weekend.

Last weekend we went out to my buddy Sam’s Ranch in Clarendon, TX to do cowboy things and to hunt. They actually work cattle so I get to ride around on a horse and try my hardest to act like I knew what I was doing, which I didn't. For some reason, riding a horse does not come natural to me, and to their own amusement, Sam and his Dad love to put me on the horse that loves to do his own thing and to scare the living bejesus out me. Needless to say I am still sore from riding that beast, and my hands still hurt from hanging on to him for dear life. I did survive and even managed to shoot an Aoudad, an exotic game animal from Africa that hangs out in the rough parts of Texas, New Mexico, and Colorado.

I am looking forward to getting back to Gunter for Christmas and New Years to see what I can get into this trip. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Here are a few pics from my adventures.

Blury Camera Phone Pic of my NASCAR, #14 Old Spice!

Ripped the bad tiles out

Just call me Bob Villa

Dino and Me in Sunset, TX

Dead Aoudad. Clarendon, TX

Project Update

I've been asked several times this past week about the progress of my cooler. It is not 100% complete yet because I couldn't decide what kind of wook I wanted on the outside. However, I have found the perfect wood, and the cooler should be done it time for its public display in this weeks Thursday Thougths. Adios