Hoopla Weekend

This past weekend me and 3 of my WannaBe Hoop Superstar friends participated in the 3 on 3 competitive Hoopla tournament in Midland, TX. This was our chance to relive the ole glory days and show everyone that just because we are 8 years removed from High School, we could still play some ball.

We arrived in Midland around midday Friday, got some lunch and went straight to the golf course. Looking back, we probably should have found a gym, did some drills, come up with some plays, or just actually shot a basketball, but the tournament was double elimination, and we were already talking about a post championship celebration. Plus there were three different brackets: The Couch Potatoes, The Rec League, and the All Stars. We decided to sandbag it and go with the Rec League. We hit the bed around 1 a.m. because we had to play at 8:30.

They decided that our team name should be Big John’s Sons. I never found out who John was or why we were his sons, but here is a scouting report of our team:

Big Mitch: 6’2 - 226 lbs. Former Howe Bull Dog 2A All Star.

Pros: Silky smooth left hander, Great Looking shot and intimidating facial features. Superb trash talking abilities and great shot blocker.

Cons: Can only block shots and talk trash. Plays zero defense and does not rebound. Bad knees and ankles and left his dribbling abilities back in Howe,TX.

Sambone: 6’2 – 208 lbs. Former Clarendon Bronco 2A All Star

Pros: Good all-a-round ball player. Can shoot outside and take it down low.

Cons: Terrible haircut that resembles a cross between Elvis and the crazy Indian from Dances with Wolves. Sweats a lot

Big Willy: (Team Captain) 6’9 – 245 lbs. Former High School All State, Played College Basketball

Pros: He’s 6’9, just get him the ball.

Cons: Gets extremely emotional in intense situations, yells at teammates.

Crop Duster: 6’0 – 180 lbs. Former High School 2nd Team Wannabe

Pros: Great Hair

Cons: Bad ankles. Slow as Christmas



Big John’s Sons arrive to the courts at 8:32 a.m. and the game started at 8:34 a.m. We played what appeared to be a group of short, un-athletic chumps. We were losing 12 – 6 before we finally made a few shots and snuck by with a win. It finally occurs to us that we may have a short day and quick exit ahead. We were not wrong. We quickly lost the next game where we were severely over matched by another group of un-athletic looking chumps. The third game was a small victory because we played a Ninja, a third grade girl, and a 75 yr old in a wheel chair. Our final dagger was next sent by a really good team that had special powers. They passed the ball around for an open shot, set screens, worked pick and rolls, played good defense, and rebounded. We were stunned by their super powers, so we let them win.

The rest of the day was spent Chillaxing by Big Willy’s parents (Bill and Tammy) pool, where we enjoyed ice cold beverages and ice cold water to soak our muscles, joints, tendons, ligaments and everything else that can ache on a body. We reflected on the day, the good, the bad, and the terrible basketball we displayed. It was evident that we weren’t 18 anymore, but with some practice, extensive running, and some mild weight training, we could definitely take the Rec League title next year. Bedtime 8:15 p.m.

Sunday. After a good breakfast and 4 Advil, Sambone and myself played golf with Bill. Big Willy doesn’t play and Big Mitch said “Dude, I cannot move.” It was a beautiful sunny day with just a little wind, and it was great to be outside. In about 75 strokes from me, 80 something from Sambone, a few cold ones, a great chicken salad sandwich, and 2 club throws, we decided a couple things. #1. Golf is way easier on the body than basketball #2. We are going to dominate the Couch Potato bracket next year…