This past weekend we married off one of my closest friends Randy “Dino” Miller in the town of Paradise, TX (population 37), and man was it a treat. They had an outside wedding at her (Jacquline Sanford Miller) parent’s place, which is a fantastic place about 8 miles off the highway literally out in the middle of nowhere.
I arrived Friday afternoon after getting lost twice, even with the help of a detailed direction sheet and a GPS device. Dino and I relaxed while the family hastily finished up the last minute things that needed to be done for the wedding (these last minute things naturally lasted right up until the wedding). Right before the rehearsal I informed Dino that I had purchased two Southwest tickets to Vegas for the both of us just incase he needed to bail. He pondered… and declined.
Before we left to go to the Rehearsal dinner, where I was to give my Best Man’s speech, he informed me that I was allowed to bring up “What ever I wanted.” This was extremely brave on his part, and I thought about burying him so that we could make our Vegas flight. He was more nervous about that speech than I was, and I had prepared three different versions of it. Jacquline is a wonderful person and friend, so I decided to give the “nice” one. Wedding still on. We finished the night with a late night Jam session that ended about 3 am.
Saturday, the Big day, was spent on more last minute things. I’ve been apart of many weddings, but never exactly right in the middle of the pandemonium, and I quickly learned why you should only get married once. The amount of time, money, and effort alone spent on a wedding could drive anybody insane. Everything got finished just in time, and the wedding was on. It was perfect and even included a small rain shower that kept us from getting hot in our suits.
The reception was glorious, equipped with great food and wonderful beverages. I got to catch up with some friends that I haven’t seen, play a Blue Edmondson song that I didn’t screw up too bad, and of course show off my great dancing skills (great might of been a bad choice in adjectives). After we sent the newlyweds off, we danced til very late in the evening.
The Bit
At every single one of my friends and family’s weddings I am always asked the dreaded question “When are you getting married” at least a couple times. It’s usually a 50 something year old mother of one of my friends. I decided that it would be hilarious to respond with a straight face “I’m Gay.” I had to find the right person or it just would not work. The first three were either from Grandmothers or ladies I did not know very well, so I did not go through with it. It was almost 2 am, after I had pretty much given up on the idea when the stars aligned, and I got a hangin curve ball right down the center of the plate. I was country dancing with a mother of one of my friends when the 5 words came out that I had been waiting for all evening. I was caught off guard and almost starting laughing right then, but I composed myself and replied with a straight faced “I’m Gay.” Her reaction was what appeared to be a combination of a heart attack and a seizure. It was priceless. One of my buddies who knew about the Bit was sitting close by and realized that I had successfully pulled it off, so he started laughing and I just lost it. When she finally came to, I think she thought it was funny and took it really well. The bit was a success, and I should probably retire it, but who knows.
All in All, it was a great weekend. Dino is now married to a great girl, and is on a huge cruise ship out in the Caribbean right now. I wish nothing but the absolute best for him and his new wife, and look forward to the great times we can share in the future. On my glorious drive back to Lubbock today I have decided a few things that I want to keep in mind once I find a girl that is insane enough to marry me: 1. Eloping has more advantages than just being quick and easy. 2. Do not undervalue the predictability of an inside wedding…
I arrived Friday afternoon after getting lost twice, even with the help of a detailed direction sheet and a GPS device. Dino and I relaxed while the family hastily finished up the last minute things that needed to be done for the wedding (these last minute things naturally lasted right up until the wedding). Right before the rehearsal I informed Dino that I had purchased two Southwest tickets to Vegas for the both of us just incase he needed to bail. He pondered… and declined.
Before we left to go to the Rehearsal dinner, where I was to give my Best Man’s speech, he informed me that I was allowed to bring up “What ever I wanted.” This was extremely brave on his part, and I thought about burying him so that we could make our Vegas flight. He was more nervous about that speech than I was, and I had prepared three different versions of it. Jacquline is a wonderful person and friend, so I decided to give the “nice” one. Wedding still on. We finished the night with a late night Jam session that ended about 3 am.
Saturday, the Big day, was spent on more last minute things. I’ve been apart of many weddings, but never exactly right in the middle of the pandemonium, and I quickly learned why you should only get married once. The amount of time, money, and effort alone spent on a wedding could drive anybody insane. Everything got finished just in time, and the wedding was on. It was perfect and even included a small rain shower that kept us from getting hot in our suits.
The reception was glorious, equipped with great food and wonderful beverages. I got to catch up with some friends that I haven’t seen, play a Blue Edmondson song that I didn’t screw up too bad, and of course show off my great dancing skills (great might of been a bad choice in adjectives). After we sent the newlyweds off, we danced til very late in the evening.
The Bit
At every single one of my friends and family’s weddings I am always asked the dreaded question “When are you getting married” at least a couple times. It’s usually a 50 something year old mother of one of my friends. I decided that it would be hilarious to respond with a straight face “I’m Gay.” I had to find the right person or it just would not work. The first three were either from Grandmothers or ladies I did not know very well, so I did not go through with it. It was almost 2 am, after I had pretty much given up on the idea when the stars aligned, and I got a hangin curve ball right down the center of the plate. I was country dancing with a mother of one of my friends when the 5 words came out that I had been waiting for all evening. I was caught off guard and almost starting laughing right then, but I composed myself and replied with a straight faced “I’m Gay.” Her reaction was what appeared to be a combination of a heart attack and a seizure. It was priceless. One of my buddies who knew about the Bit was sitting close by and realized that I had successfully pulled it off, so he started laughing and I just lost it. When she finally came to, I think she thought it was funny and took it really well. The bit was a success, and I should probably retire it, but who knows.
All in All, it was a great weekend. Dino is now married to a great girl, and is on a huge cruise ship out in the Caribbean right now. I wish nothing but the absolute best for him and his new wife, and look forward to the great times we can share in the future. On my glorious drive back to Lubbock today I have decided a few things that I want to keep in mind once I find a girl that is insane enough to marry me: 1. Eloping has more advantages than just being quick and easy. 2. Do not undervalue the predictability of an inside wedding…
hey- you stole my next post title...who was the mom?
ReplyDeleteCLASSIC. wish i could have been there
ReplyDeleteSpot on recap...a wedding to remember for many reasons.
ReplyDelete